I can't take him anywhere!

I love the Caddy. It has the bench seats (love those on a date), velvet interior and all the bells and whistles. Yea sure it is old but when it came out it had all the latest technology. It still has low miles, looks and runs great!

However sometimes I think it has a mind of its own. I think he appreciates my driving but I really think he prefers others behind the wheel (read the ladies). Maybe it makes him feel like he is back in the arms of his original owner. Maybe he likes the way they feel on the velvet, or maybe they just treat him a bit better then the old, fat guy that forces him to race to the train in the morning before he even gets to warm up. I can actually relate since I feel the same way most days.

So I wasn't surprised when we bonded the other day. He saw this newer caddy and just couldn't resist pulling up right behind her. He sat there idling, a bit too close in my opinion. He even asked me to take a picture.



I guess we are both butt men.

N.B.

Happy Fathers Day!

What a great day! Wake up to the sound of kids kicking your wife in the bed. Then get up at 7 AM to go put on a video for the littlest one who just can't seem to sleep or hold still despite his outspoken desire to "snuggle". Nothing like that to remind you that you are a dad! Happy Father's Day!

After another quick snooze I was greeted by all three kids holding a tray with breakfast in bed, waffles, bacon, strawberries and loads of presents. Despite my wish list (which included nothing) a gift giving day can't go by without my wife and the kids getting something. Thanks guys I love the stuff!

Later in the day we had a BBQ with a couple of other families. During which the adults started talking and openly wondered why on Fathers or Mothers day we each viewed it as a day to get away from our families and have some "our time" or "alone Time"? We didn't want to work, take care of the kids, clean up etc. Why on a day that is supposed to celebrate those things do we want to get away from it all?

I am not sure if it is the usual stress that comes from marriage and family relations, the fact that on the calendar it says "Father's Day" so it is one day to think of yourself, or a combination of both. I do know that on this day it is nice to be thought of, to be pampered a bit and to sit back and "enjoy the love", to see and feel the excitement of those that know and love you the most. I am blessed!

Despite what my wife and kids might think after my ranting, arguing, scolding and impatience, I have wanted nothing more throughout my life then to be a Husband and father.

I realized a couple things yesterday:
1) I have some really great people to look up to and follow after.

My Father - What a great man. He was always working hard so that we could have some of the comforts of life. I always felt loved and safe growing up. He took time to support me in activities, and help me with homework. He took an interest in the things I was interested in. We did things together and he taught me many of life's lessons. I haven't lived at home for over 15 years but he still takes care of me and my family. It has and continues to mean a lot. Thanks Dad I love you.

My Friends - What great fathers and husbands. I really enjoy your families and watching how you interact with your wives and kids. You are their heroes. They light up when you are around. You give them love, hope and excitement. You teach your boys how to be fathers and your daughters how they should expect a husband to treat them. I have really learned that when it comes to time with your children it is quality not quantity. I have learned that by watching you. You are each different in dealing with your spouses. I admire the husbands that you are, the relationships you have with your wives and look to emulate the best traits I see in each of you.

2) I really am not very good at this Husband and Father thing yet.

Despite nearly 15 years of marriage and 10 years of fatherhood I was reminded again yesterday that I am not very good at this. I continue to make mistakes, some of them worse then others. I learned that I have been making many of them for years and years. Some without even knowing I was doing it. It seems like I have to learn the same lessons more then once. I get frustrated, short and impatient with those that I care the most about. Sometimes I think I am not very nice. At times I think my family deserves better.

Thanks to all those that help me be better, that give me hope, that while difficult show me that it really is worth it. That it is worth working on it, because in the end I am responsible for creating that same environment I grew up in, warmth, love, understanding and trust.

I always thought I would be good at this. I always thought that I would be an awesome husband and father. That I would be one of those guys that everyone looked up to and thought "he is awesome". It's a sad realization that I am not. It is hard to admit that I am not what I wanted to be or that I thought I could be. I hope to work on those things this year, to gain that trust, to earn that love and respect that is continually shown to me. To be looked up to, thought about and respected like I have seen in those great examples in my life.

I am not there yet! Fortunately I have more time to improve and get there.

N.B.

Umm...Missed a loop

Not just one. I think he actually only hit two total. The first and last!

I am awful!
N.B

New Diet: Stress and Salad!

Tired of being "over chubby" tired of wearing "aggressive pants", and tired of being past parity, I talk a good talk about needing to make some changes. It was only a month ago when I explained my predicament here.

Well I am not sure exactly what is doing it. I haven't been working out like I should; in fact I haven't worked out at all. I even let my gym membership lapse. Since I moved to a new building for work even my walk to the train is cut in half. I am not sure how but my 35" waist is down to a solid 34" and closer to a 33". I have lost about 10lbs, and the before shot won't look as horrible as it really was. (I know you've been waiting all year for those photos).

I know that it kills my wife and probably other women out there that have to work out hours at the gym, watch what they eat, reduce portions and count calories just to get these results. I guess somehow I was blessed with great "diet genes" or I was able to boost my metabolism back up to what it used to be when I was younger. Either way it is working so I thought I would pass along my secrets.

> Eat smaller portions
> Add Stress
> Drink Diet Dr. Pepper daily (2-3 a day should work)
> Less late night snacking
> Eat grilled chicken and salad for lunch

That's all I have done! I know it even disgusts me. To think I was getting fluffy around the middle and it was this easy :p

Now with all the news about Salmonella coming from bad Tomato's, I think I am going to shy away from my usual diet for a while. I wouldn't recommend eating tainted salad as a good weight management plan. From the description of the symptoms it doesn't sound appealing, even if you are desperate. So on my salad hold the tomato's, come to think of it I don't really like spinach that much either. So hold that too. I will just take the rest.



Don't hate me because I am dropping the fat and weight. Hate me because by the end of the summer I will finally be Hot!

Not there yet! I am still working on it.

N.B.

Commute #2 (Twister anyone)?

I have a bit of time on my hands and figured it was about time to blog again. This is a commute post that some can probably relate to.

Train trouble. Winter just seems to bring out the best, delays, wet, dirty and of course Metro North had to have the train short a car so even though I am there early, the train gets packed and my commute gets ugly. No problem I thought I just got the new IPOD, I'll put in the headphones and disappear (Nap) from the commute for 30 minutes. So while I was leg locked in a game of twister with 3 other passengers along comes some other DB that wants the 5th seat, in the corner, where there is already no room. Right foot on Green!

I have to digress for a paragraph. When I think of Twister, I can't help but think of my 10th anniversary, Sandals resort. Adults only, about 80% of the people are there on their honeymoon the other 20% are on their anniversary. We go down to the concierge office to pick out some movies or games to play and there in the cabinet with UNO, and backgammon is Twister. Twister? Are you serious? At an adults only, Honeymoon resort, Twister? Now I pride myself on being a bit freaky and usually don't get creeped out, but even that was a bit much for me to handle. So if you go to Sandals St. Lucia and stay in the ocean view concierge suite, think of me while you are playing twister in your room.

OK. Back to the commute. So I get waken up by this guy that wants to move in. I have the headphones blasting trying to forget where I am, and I say under my breath, "you have to be kidding". However with the Headphones on it sounded like, "YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING!". The guy just looked at me and then proceeded to sit down in the seat anyway.

For the record this is not a good ride home!


And Mr. Green Shirt. I don't know what you think you are packing but don't flatter yourself. Be considerate and don't take up unnecessary space, I doubt you needed it!

N.B.

Ever Feel like this?

Walking home from the train saw this old broken guitar laying in the grass by the side of the road. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Maybe its just me.

Not there yet!

N.B.

Communication #2 or Commute #1

Everyday I ride a train from my home town (Village) to NYC and back again. I go in early in the morning, usually see the same people, sit in almost the same seat (See Do I look fat in these pants? post earlier about my predictable nature), and ride the same train.

People that early in the morning generally know the proper "Train Etiquette" I say hi to my friends and chat while on the train platform, but once the train doors open and you find your seat. Proper etiquette dictates that you shut your yapper, leave me alone and don't talk to me or anyone else (Especially on your cell phone). My friends say have a great day, I say the same and we don't say another word. None needs to be said. I have after all counted this 30 minutes into my allotted sleep time and I don't want anyone destroying it.

So why is it that on the way home people always seem to forget these rules? They talk on their cellphones, pack into the middle seat and generally drive me crazy.

Here are a couple of examples. I will have many more to come.

#1 Leg Man!


Why is it that when I am sitting in one of the end "4 square seats" that I have to get that late dude that runs onto the train just as the doors close want to sit by me. He has the nerve to come up and wants me to move my legs so that he can sit in the seat. He is usually sweating and breathing heavy. He moves past all the other proper people that are standing in the doorway (because even they know that you don't go sit there). I would love to say something like "I don't wrap my legs around dudes" or "If I want heavy breathing and intertwined legs I'll make a date with my wife not a trip on the 5:33, find another seat".

Occasionally there are some perks to the ride. They are few and far between but I do enjoy them when they come. She had Dumps like a truck, truck, truck, Thighs like a what, what, what, baby move your butt, butt, butt, I think I'll sing it again.



So there you have it a couple of things that drive me crazy and leave me speechless.
I need to learn to communicate better or just have to suck it up and accept the consequences.

Enjoy,
N.B.

Communication

I am not sure why I just don't get it. Sure I act like I am 15 sometimes (Some may argue most times), but mentally have I not moved beyond that? Have I not learned anything? Have 15 years of marriage not taught me anything?

Finally, I sat down and had a great talk with my wife the other day. Communication really is the key. It was great! Reminded me of the good old days when we weren't "too busy". I needed the reminder. It seems I can't remember anything lately.

Thanks Honey, for being patient, forgiving and willing to put up with me. You reminded me why I fell in love with you so many years ago, and why despite everything I do, you love me and really are my best friend.

Afterwards, I felt so close to you and so much in love. Now granted one talk doesn't fix everything or make every wrong I have ever done go away, but it made me want to keep talking and working on things. I want to be better. You deserve it. You are a great listener.

For anyone that reads this. Go talk to your spouse, significant other, a friend, or "your Person". We all have those few people in our lives that we can do anything, say anything, tell anything, and they still like us or even love us. Tell them thanks for being there, for all they do, that you appreciate and love them. Keep the communication open, it is what part of life is all about.

It would be a sad world without those people. I am grateful for mine.

Thanks family, friends, my person and my best friend, my Wife.

Sweetie you are the best thing in my life, I can't imagine it without you. Thanks for your patience and love, and most of all thanks for communicating with me. It makes all the difference in the world.

I am not there yet! But I am working on it and with your help and communicating with me I have hope that I may actually get there someday.

N.B.